it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
