That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
