is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
