Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
