What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
