Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
