I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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