im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
