yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
