then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
