guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
