Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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