I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We are all done wearing pants today
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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