He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can't trust your balls anymore.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
