so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
