just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
These tits shall not be calmed
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
