I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
