mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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