thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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