I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
