Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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