where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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