sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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