I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The adults are the big ones right?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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