Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
