New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
