We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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