I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
