what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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