we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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