there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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