lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
