i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
