nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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