CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
