Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
