So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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