yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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