My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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