I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
