seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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