Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
