he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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