Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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