You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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