I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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