You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
