ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
