What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
