oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
