is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
