Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
