Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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